Â鶹´«Ã½

By Joseph Barker

Not that long ago, I honestly believed that being gay would forever hinder my career as a transportation engineer. When I was in college, it never really dawned on me that my career choice could possibly be complicated by my sexuality; I just picked something that interested me. Once I graduated and entered the workforce, let¡¯s just say the reality of how different I was from my coworkers was quite the slap in the face (think Cher in Moonstruck telling me to snap out of it). At that time, I thought the way to succeed was to assimilate. In my work life, I retreated into the proverbial closet faster than tickets sell out for Beyonc¨¦ concerts.?

I avoided personal conversations at all costs for fear of letting the words ¡°my boyfriend/fianc¨¦/husband¡± slip (we¡¯ve had a few title changes over the years). I stifled sassy remarks and ¡°gay¡± references that came to mind to not draw attention to myself. I purposely deepened my speaking voice in a (feeble) attempt to circumvent preconceived notions. Every morning as I walked up to work, I reached into myself and hollowed out every unique quality of my personality and left them at the front door like an unwanted guest.

For years, the only thing that I brought to work was a shell of my true self, but it still wasn¡¯t enough to avoid numerous instances of bias and discrimination. After six years of exhaustingly suppressing my authentic self, attempts to hide my sexuality were predictably futile and my career was stagnant. How was I supposed to grow in my career if I did not feel that I could bring all my strengths, talents, and experiences to the table? As children, we are told that the sky is the limit. But at this point, my sky looked much more like a ceiling. As I contemplated 40 more years of being trapped behind my desk, hiding who I am, I felt defeated and hopeless. In that moment, my mind was made up. I spent plenty enough of my younger years in the closet (acquiring a fabulous fashion sense in the meantime, of course), and I refused to spend any more time in that coffin of creativity.

I knew that my best chance for career liberation and personal authenticity was to find a company that blatantly and unapologetically celebrated diversity and inclusion. Sounds simple enough, but in a traditional career and a conservative state like Louisiana, I felt like I would have better luck finding a parking spot in the French Quarter during Mardi Gras. I started asking around and talking to contacts in the hopes of finding some direction.

A one-off comment from a friend about Â鶹´«Ã½ led me to their website. I already knew that Â鶹´«Ã½ was a leader in transportation engineering, so I went to the website hoping for a good fit and a sign. After a couple of hours on the site, I stumbled across a page about the Pride@Â鶹´«Ã½ initiative. As I looked at pictures of Â鶹´«Ã½¡¯s involvement in Edmonton Pride, a sense of relief came over me. I knew immediately that I had found my rainbow oasis in this desert of discrimination. I wasn¡¯t just sold on Â鶹´«Ã½; I was determined to be my authentic, genuine self at work every day. A casual lunch meeting, an interview, and the rest is history.

Once I started at Â鶹´«Ã½, it didn¡¯t take me long to seek out a way to get involved in?Pride@Â鶹´«Ã½?(the signature probably wasn¡¯t even dry on my acceptance letter). Through an internal Yammer group, I quickly got plugged in, and I¡¯m incredibly happy to say we have launched a Pride@Â鶹´«Ã½ chapter in New Orleans. Recently, I attended a company panel discussion, ¡°How to Make Uncomfortable, Comfortable.¡± I knew for certain that I had made the right decision coming in to Â鶹´«Ã½. Listening to this group of accomplished leaders within Â鶹´«Ã½ say that I deserve to be respected, that this is a safe space, and that we are all valued was just the rainbow sprinkles on top of this Â鶹´«Ã½ sundae. Hearing more about Â鶹´«Ã½¡¯s involvement in the Pride parades in Edmonton and Calgary and the corporate sponsorship of Pride@Work Canada is definitive proof that Â鶹´«Ã½ doesn¡¯t just talk the talk, it walks the walk.